I'm Dead Inside

I can't look at myself in the mirror anymore
Without crying or an uproar.
Punching walls and bruised knuckles
dealing with this is a bigger struggle.

Tell me you love me, erase the pain
or I'll do it myself and slit my vains.
It feels like I'm dying inside,
I can't run from it, cannot hide.

I can't escape this hell, I've tried
But there's still rage inside.
I'm sure if you'll look you'll see,
the emptiness inside of me.

Get me through this nightmare,
my heart is beginning to tare.
Chew my heart up and spit it out,
My head is screaming, it's beginning to shout.

You see what you want and take what you want,
but it's too late, I'm dead inside.

Tribute to wonders... Heath Ledger

Heath Ledger was a great actor and should be remembered for his wonderful movies. I know he died a while ago, but I never realized the briliance of this man until last night. Where after watching The Dark Knight-Batman I ended up crying myself to sleep. There will be no other actor who can do waht he has done with television. Heath Ledger was not just some random hot actor, he was an artist. It took me over two months to figure out he was Jacob in the Brother's Grimm. He can be any person he wants to be on screen and anywhere else. It is a God awful shame we had to lose such beauty as him. God bless his soul, and forever live the rememberance of Heath Ledger.

Heath Ledger Movies:

The Dark Knight

I'm not There

Candy

Casanova

Brokeback Mountain

The Brothers Grimm

Lords of Dogtown

The Patriot

Monster's Ball

... and over twenty more

Tears will forever be shed for Heath Ledger

Waiting

I sit up in my chair, waiting
I stare outside my window, waiting
Take walks in the park, waiting
I lay down in my lonely bed, waiting
I hold myself close, tightly, waiting
I cry myself to sleep, waiting
I dream to pass time, I'm still waiting
I stare at the clock, waiting
I scuplt your image, I'm still waiting
Where's the knight in shining armor, I'm waiting
I've opened my heart, waiting
My life is stuffed in a bloody blender, waiting
Please Lord I'm tired of waiting
When will it be my turn to stop waiting
When will I fall in love with love and not waiting
When will i finally say I'm done waiting for you
But it'll never stop
I'll always be here,
I'll always be here...
Waiting

Movie of the Week

I have 2 movies this time.

Curse of the Golden flower
You have to see it from beginning to end to really understand it.
There's this asian guy wo is like a prince and is sleeping with his step mother and then sleeps with his real sister but doesn't know that she is his sister. Neither one of them knew and everyone dies except the emperor and his slutty wife.

Front of the Class
Is about a boy with terrets (or how ever you spell it) and it explains how terrible life was to him but in the end he found peace. This was based off of a true story and there was not one scene where I didn't cry or smiled. Believe me if you are a big water bug and a big softe then watch this movie with a bunch of tissue.

Song of the Week

Single Ladies by Beyonce is banging and Beyonce is not one of my typical favorite singers. But this song and the music videos is totally awesome. If you ain't heard it or seen the video then go see it now!!!

Movie of the Week!!!

If you have never seen the movie 27 Dresses, you had better. It is the coolest thing ever, once again I'm exagerating, it is a big LOL! There are certain parts I can't say because if you haven't seen it yet, this will ruin it. If you hadn't noticed I'm a big cry baby and a major romantic. So when I saw this one scene it made me cry so hard. James Marsden is in it and he actually gets a woman. (:

Random Talk Time!!!

If you watch wrestling then you know who I'm talking about, and if you've watched movies on Lifetime you know why I'm saying this. Now, on wrestling there's a man named Randy Orton. Who is by no doubt super cute, but while watching it with my sister she helped me think of something about him. First the details, when he's about to strike someone, he stares them in the eyes, lick his lips (sometimes) and hunches over with his hands on his knees. Then he tackles you and your lying on the floor with him over you. But I'm like, what is it about him that makes me queezy? Then my sister says to me, " Oh, my God! He looks like a lifetime rapist. The ones who are in the collages, on the football team, highly respected, rich, and super hot; but he's the one who rapes the little, pretty ugly girl in school, who nobody cares about. Then everyone is like, "Oh, she's just lying. Look at him. Why would he rape her?!" Then he would get away with it. If I'm not being clear here it is, Randy Orton looks like a Lifetime rapist.

Who do you think is the hottest actor out there?
I think it's:
Johnny Depp
Chris Evans
Ryan Renyolds
The two brothers from Supernatural

RANDOM TALK TIME!!!

I just saw the movie Sweeny Todd again, and it's so cool. I can't turn the channel, and I wouldn't go to the bathroom until it was over. It was at least three hours long (I'm exaggerating, I don't really know how long it is) But the point is, even though they sing a lot, it's so cool. And it's very bloody. To be honest it's the singing that makes it great. With Johnny Dep as the main character and he's singing, makes it even hotter.

Alavin and the Chipmonks is good too, but the guy who plays David is a total fruit. He looks nothing like the cartoon character. At least the cartoon character was cute, this guy is a BIG GEEK!!! But he's got seldom money and lives with three chipmunks, so he definitley needs a woman in his life.

James Marsden! Learn the name, look for the face. In his movies he either looses a girl or doesn't get one at all. EXAMPLE??? Like the movie X-Men, where not only did he loose his girl to Wolverine, his girl killed him. In the movie The Notebook he's this war hero with money, sweet, genorous, super hot babe and he's in love with this hoe of girl. She leaves him for this scraggley dude with no money, just because he made her a dream house(and they were dating as teenagers).And may I add that she was cheating on him with the scraggley dude and he forgave her. That's when she went to the other man. Enchanted he's getting married to this stupid madan, may I remind you he's a prince. But she falls for a lawyer who has a daughter and is about to propose to another woman. The madan leaves James and marries the lawyer, and the girl he was suposed to marry went with the prince. But in my opinion, the girl the lawyer was suposed to marry was so much better looking than the madan.

Well, I'm done rambling on about stupid junk and I'll have more when I watch a couple of mocies and eat a bunch candy with a coke! Later(:

Damaged

My heart has been broken many times before,
Promise not to make me cry, or start an uproar
It's hard to start over with you, no more love
Because I see only things that causes me more pain.

Like the others, you tell me there will be no lies, But this is hard to believe after all the tears I've cried. Once more, I hear the same lines repeated again, I don't understand why I still trust men.

Tell me you won't break my heart, As if it wasn't damaged enough.The last Man I loved left my life hard to live, All he had to say later was love was tough.

When he left, my life had totally vanished, You are who I wanna love, but my heart is damaged.

I love you, I hate you

Hatred consume the entire body,

when you see the ones you love with another

Look at them so happy,

while you are so doubtful

I hate you for the pain you've caused me,

I love you for all the special memories we've shared

I hate you for not letting me get over you,

I love you for letting me to get to know

I hate you for what you made me think we had,

I love for allowing me to experience love even for a second

I hate you for breaking me to pieces,

I love you for this learning experiences

Oh, my darling

I love you but I hate you

What World is This?

What world is this, when girls seem to be the only ones who get hurt

What world is this, when girls get taken advantage of by men who don't care

What world is this, when the only comfort a girl fets is the comfort of lies and tears

What world is this, when a girl falls in love and love turns into nothing but false lies

What world is this? What world is this, when friends turn on one another for another

What world is this when a girl's life crumbles and no ones there to help

What world is this, when a heart gets broken and no one is there to put it back together

What world is this?

This world is mine. ):

Song of the week!!!

I heard a song that describes me so much!!! Just the other day I started crying in class because I was scared that I would lose the man I was in love with because of my past feelings for someone else and how they hurt me so bad ): plus, what scared me more was that I thought that he was going to fall for my friend because during class they were laughing and giggling the whole time. And nothing but anger and repressed memories flew through my head. I have ruined many relationships that way, afraid that he'll hurt me or I'll fall in love with him. I won't let that happen this time. The name of the song is

" Damaged" by Danity Kane. Check It Out!!!

~ Mimi Mercez

The Earth

I am dying,

hot and crying

melting, boiling, burning
tossing, turning, churning

my pets are dead
my children have no bread

the sun is hot,
my plants are beginning to rot
I am the Earth and I'm crying
stop the pollution, my children are dying

~ Mimi Mercez